08 · 25

Reflections on Nick Birchak

For those of you who have not been notified, Nick Birchak, an Albany swing dancer and great friend, passed away in his sleep Tuesday night (August 23rd, 2011). The announcement among the swing community was made public at our Wednesday dance, which Nick freqented and we took up a collection for a funeral arrangement. This is indeed a sad and tragic event, but as many of you know I have dedicated this journal to thinking about the positive things about dance and life. So despite how hard it seems, I will be trying to remember the good things about Nick and possibly give some suggestions to those in grief on how I am choosing to handle his passing. I hope they will be helpful to many others during this difficult time.

15436_1181978758724_1505864500_30561037_6853528_n

To the Family & Friends of Nick Birchak,

I have been thinking heavily about what to say and how to respond to Nick's passing. In many ways, it seems like the worst thing possible and emotions are running high. Even only having a few hours to reflect on this event, I still know I have to write to both put my own thoughts on paper, but also to provide encouragement to others who are grieving and possibly explain how I am choosing to deal with the event. I do hope it helps many of you to think of a different perspective because I really believe that Nick wouldn't have wanted us to be sad for too long. That wasn't his personality and there are too many good memories of him that I would like to remember instead.

 

First, I want to greatly thank the Birchak family for bringing Nick into our lives and blessing us with an amazing person. I know that he would not be the amazingly energetic, fun, and friendly person he is today without such an incredibly family supporting him every step of the way. I know that your grief and sadness will not even parallel the emotions experienced by the swing community that Nick so loved and was loved by, but I hope my words will again provide a bit of relief from this tragedy.

 

For the members of the swing community, both in Albany, the Northeast and across the country I sincerely hope you remember the many good things about Nick and carry them into your own lives. We can all use a bit more friendliness, enthusiasm, and undevoted kindness to our fellow dancers especially at this time, but I strongly believe that's how we can keep Nick's memory alive - inside each of us in our own way. I know Nick's spirit was with me last night because I found myself having not only amazing dances, but actually voicing my positive emotions to others. Typically, during a dance we sit back and enjoy the ride, but there were several dances where my Lead did something super fun or allowed me to do something super fun and normally I would have enjoyed it in silence. Last night, however, I found myself opening my heart and words to my fellow dancer (yes offering condolences as well), but moreso stating, right there and then, when something fun happened that "Hey I really liked that move" or "That was a great transition." We never want to have any regrets with friends and family, because life is so precious and can be taken away at any time. So use the time you are here to reduce, stop and even walk away mentally from any arguments or negative statements. I am glad that I had to pleasure to dance with Nick, but I wish I had said some of the positive things about him - to him - while he was still with us. 

 

I would share my own story about how I met Nick and how he immediately became a beam of sunshine in an otherwise new and scary world. He was the only one I knew before moving to Albany, and the first person to take a leap and offer to go to dinner with us when we were still moving in. And for that I am extremely grateful. But I will not share all the amazing memories of Nick because I know you all are already reviewing that in your own way and I hope you have only good memories of him because I have never had a negative moment. As you are replaying your memories, both visually, maybe through videos and pictures, and mentally like a dance or two that you can recall being amazingly fun I would encourage you to pass over anything that has a tinge of regret. I do regret that I have not seen Nick in person for almost a month and that I did not get to tell him in person all the things I loved about him, but I cannot and you cannot dwell on these things. Nick wouldn't have wanted you to. And that's the most difficult thing when losing a loved one, is to carry on and take a guess about how you think that person would have wanted everyone to handle his death. And I know, without a doubt, that Nick would want us right now to DANCE. Dance in his memory, dance in his style, dance in his attitude and dance in his love. I hope you all find peace and comfort in knowing that you were and are blessed to have known Nick in whatever form and that we can all take a piece of him into ourselves to keep him alive.

 

Thank you friend. Love and miss you forever,

- Lauren Keeley & All Loved Ones

 

Some ways Nick will be emortalized online and in our hearts: